Shame doesn’t care how much it’s ruining your sex life. It just wants an audience. But instead of hitting up the concession stand, what if you sat in the front row and got curious? You might be surprised at what you learn (and how your body responds afterwards).
David Bedrick is the founder of The Unshaming Way and the author of five books. Instead of asking how to move past the shame, he asks what the shame is trying to say. Because you’re not a problem: you’re a person with a story whose symptoms carry lots of intelligence.
Content note: this episode briefly mentions childhood harm and sexual trauma.
Topics covered
- 00:00 Masculinity, erections, and cultural pressure
- 02:30 What shame is and why symptoms carry intelligence
- 04:28 How survival and cultural messages shape identity
- 07:58 Why fixing and technique can deepen shame
- 10:23 Listening to what erection difficulty and softness are saying
- 12:30 What an unshaming witness does differently
- 16:00 Gender, sexuality, and shame carried through silence
- 20:54 What to notice when shame appears during sex
- 21:50 Consent, “not yet,” and believing your body
- 23:24 Why you cannot technique your way out of shame
- 25:01 Healing as believing your own experience
- 26:36 David’s current trauma work, courses, and Substack
Find David Bedrick
Produced by Katie Jensen of Vocal Fry Studios, now in her third season with GETSOME.
Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.
GETSOME returns for Season 4 in September 2026. The through line is the same: your body is communicating, not malfunctioning. You are not broken.
Shame doesn’t care how much it’s ruining your sex life. It just wants an audience. But instead of hitting up the concession stand, what if you sat in the front row and got curious? You might be surprised at what you learn (and how your body responds afterwards).
David Bedrick is the founder of The Unshaming Way and the author of five books. Instead of asking how to move past the shame, he asks what the shame is trying to say. Because you’re not a problem: you’re a person with a story whose symptoms carry lots of intelligence.
Content note: this episode briefly mentions childhood harm and sexual trauma.
Topics covered
- 00:00 Masculinity, erections, and cultural pressure
- 02:30 What shame is and why symptoms carry intelligence
- 04:28 How survival and cultural messages shape identity
- 07:58 Why fixing and technique can deepen shame
- 10:23 Listening to what erection difficulty and softness are saying
- 12:30 What an unshaming witness does differently
- 16:00 Gender, sexuality, and shame carried through silence
- 20:54 What to notice when shame appears during sex
- 21:50 Consent, “not yet,” and believing your body
- 23:24 Why you cannot technique your way out of shame
- 25:01 Healing as believing your own experience
- 26:36 David’s current trauma work, courses, and Substack
Find David Bedrick
Produced by Katie Jensen of Vocal Fry Studios, now in her third season with GETSOME.
Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.
GETSOME returns for Season 4 in September 2026. The through line is the same: your body is communicating, not malfunctioning. You are not broken.
De-Andrea Blaylock-Solar is Missouri's first Black Christian AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, who helps clients navigate the intersection of faith and sexuality, particularly for those who may be struggling with guilt or shame around their sexual desires and behaviors. We talk about how De-Andrea removes shame from conversations around sex by using scripture that supports pleasure, a pro choice, orgasm, pleasure perspective. We also cover the systemic issues reinforcing the barriers to having more Black certified sex therapists in the field and what White Sex Therapists need to know about how racism continues to impact Black peoples relationship with sex - and how this will continue to be reinforced as White Sex Therapists continue working from a model of sex therapy that is based on the western White person’s experience.
Show Notes:
Wanting Christians to have good sex
Systemic racism and how it affects the representation of Black people in the field of sex therapy
Using Jesus as a conduit to carry the shame
Having shame free sex doesn't mean you have to leave behind your faith
How to be Christian and pro-choice
How racism impacts the way Black men view themselves as sexual beings
Some ways of thinking about sex as a Black woman that more White sex therapists should know about
Find De-Andrea Blaylock-Solar Here:
https://www.sankofasextherapy.com/therapists
Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.
GETSOME returns for Season 4 in September 2026. The through line is the same: your body is communicating, not malfunctioning. You are not broken.