Shame doesn’t care how much it’s ruining your sex life. It just wants an audience. But instead of hitting up the concession stand, what if you sat in the front row and got curious? You might be surprised at what you learn (and how your body responds afterwards).

David Bedrick is the founder of The Unshaming Way and the author of five books. Instead of asking how to move past the shame, he asks what the shame is trying to say. Because you’re not a problem: you’re a person with a story whose symptoms carry lots of intelligence.

Content note: this episode briefly mentions childhood harm and sexual trauma.

Topics covered

• 00:00 Masculinity, erections, and cultural pressure
• 02:30 What shame is and why symptoms carry intelligence
• 04:28 How survival and cultural messages shape identity
• 07:58 Why fixing and technique can deepen shame
• 10:23 Listening to what erection difficulty and softness are saying
• 12:30 What an unshaming witness does differently
• 16:00 Gender, sexuality, and shame carried through silence
• 20:54 What to notice when shame appears during sex
• 21:50 Consent, “not yet,” and believing your body
• 23:24 Why you cannot technique your way out of shame
• 25:01 Healing as believing your own experience
• 26:36 David’s current trauma work, courses, and Substack

Find David Bedrick

• Website
• Courses
• Books
• Substack

Produced by Katie Jensen of Vocal Fry Studios, now in her third season with GETSOME.

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

LITTLE MISS BEE IS LIVING A DOUBLE LIFE.

By day, she’s a high-powered working professional proudly shattering glass ceilings and climbing the corporate ladder. But off the clock, she’s a kink-positive, active member of the rope bondage community. 

In the final episode of the 3rd season of the GETSOME Podcast, we discuss personal authority, self-acceptance, and keeping it kinky. Our guest, Little Miss Bee, manages to keep her professional and personal worlds completely separate without losing touch with either side of herself. Ultimately, her openness and experiences give us the space to reflect on our own desires and boundaries, helping us find a path towards our own sexual, personal, and professional empowerment.

Show Notes:

• [00:00:30] Little Miss Bee describes her very clear sense of direction and openness to various sexual and non-sexual experiences.
• [00:01:00] The dichotomy of Little Miss Bee's life: a professional by day, exploring her deepest desires by night.
• [00:03:00] Discusses the importance of consent and boundaries within the kink community, emphasizing her role as both a top and a bottom.
• [00:05:00] Little Miss Bee's passion for rope bondage, known as Shibari, and her journey from being tied to becoming a rigger.
• [00:10:00] Talks about seeking connections that go beyond physical interactions, aiming for a deeper, more meaningful connections.
• [00:15:00] Little Miss Bee reflects on her sexual evolution from a "desirous, sex-positive teenager" to  moving slower, taking in the sensuality of it all.
• [00:20:00] The challenges of maintaining non-monogamy, dealing with societal expectations, and the joys of living authentically.
• [00:25:00] The allure and etiquette of sex parties, describing them as spaces where consent and hedonistic desires meet.
• [00:30:00] A perplexing moment when Little Miss Bee confronted prejudice  while revealing her open relationship status.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Imagine being stuck in the “in betweens” of your sexuality.

You’re not “gay enough,” but you’re not “straight enough.” Your sexuality is constantly oversimplified, or oversexualized. You’re stuck wondering… “Am I bisexual enough???”

Though that may not be the reality for all bisexual men, it certainly is a struggle that a lot of people face. Our guest on today’s episode, West, is a bisexual man who learned to embrace his sexuality and accept that he is “enough” exactly as he is. 

In his young adulthood, West thought his bisexuality might just be youthful curiosity. But, as his life continued to progress and West continued to mature, he came to realize that his sexuality wasn’t a “phase” or “curiosity.” It was who he was. His journey to this discovery was filled with societal pressures, self-doubt, and uncertainty. But ultimately, West found acceptance, pleasure, and confidence in his sexual identity. 

If you have any questions, thoughts, or stories to share after listening to this episode, I’d love to hear from you. Michelle@GETSOME.ca

Show Notes

• [00:00:00] West recounts a story of a dating app match that missed reading his bisexual identity listed on the profile and her reaction once finding out.
• [00:00:32] Discussion about the common challenges faced by bisexual individuals.
• [00:01:05] West reflects on his journey of self-discovery and the stigma associated with his sexuality.
• [00:02:03] Content Warning - Trigger warning for a discussion about sexual abuse.
• [00:03:14]West shares insights into how he recognized his attraction to both sexes early in his life.
• [00:06:08] Impact of Abuse - A candid discussion about how the impact of sexual abuse complicated his bisexual journey.
• [00:08:00] West discussed societal expectations and how they impacted his bisexuality.
• [00:8:04] Unlearning Sexual Shame Module awareness segment.
• [00:09:25] West discusses how his past experiences influenced his views on consensual sexual relationships.
• [00:17:30] The dating scene and challenges and observations from West’s experiences with online dating as a bisexual man.
• [00:21:01] West shares his approach to online dating as a bisexual man and how his focus on honesty and self-acceptance gets quality matches.

Guest: West

Host: Certified Sex Therapist Michelle Fischler

Production: Katie Jensen at Vocal Fry Studios

Listener Note:

• This episode contains discussions about sexual abuse that may be triggering for some listeners. Please take care while listening.

Engage with Us:

• Follow us for more content and updates on Instagram: @getsome_podcast

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

As a sex worker, Shannon Ariel, founder of Pink Banana Sparkles, always had a strong relationship with sex & her body.

…but after her first child, she felt something shift. With a changing body and changing needs, Shannon had to rebuild her relationship with herself, her sex life, and her career.

For many, motherhood takes a toll on their sex lives. Their priorities, bodies, and relationships are drastically different than they were before they had their kids, and getting back to a place of confidence, pleasure, and fulfillment can often be an uphill battle. For Shannon, a retired sex worker turned fashion designer, and mom whose identity is linked to her sexuality, this shift was a jarring one that required her to look at her life from a wider lens. What started as a journey to rediscover her sexuality postpartum turned into Shannon learning to put herself first, having the best sex of her life, and bravely sharing her story so that other women know they’re not alone.

Where to find Shannon?

https://www.pinkbananasparkles.com/

Instagram and Facebook: @pinkbananasparkles

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

At a young age, Chris was diagnosed with a medical micropenis. For years, he struggled with sex and dating until he discovered two kinks that fueled a macro sex drive – Small Penis Humiliation and Cuckolding. Talking about shame, sexuality, and penis size is particularly challenging for cis men due to toxic masculinity. But Chris’ story isn’t exclusively for people with penises (or people with micropenises, for that matter). Chris’ journey to self-acceptance and sexual pleasure is an incredible lesson in making the most with what you’re given, and learning to love yourself exactly as you are.

Show Notes

Introduction: [00:00:00]

Chris shares his struggle with feeling inadequate due to his micropenis diagnosis.

Early Diagnosis: [00:00:43]

Chris was diagnosed with a micropenis at a young age, which led to feelings of shame and inadequacy.

He recalls being informed about his condition by a doctor at the age of five, with his parents' reaction being discomfort and avoidance.

Emotional Impact: [00:08:30]

Chris expresses feeling pathetic and inferior due to societal expectations and experiences in high school.

Coping Mechanisms: [00:10:24]

Despite initial struggles, Chris found solace in embracing his kinks, particularly small penis humiliation and cuckolding.

He discusses the arousal derived from these fantasies and his approach to exploring them safely.

Dating and Relationships: [00:17:54]

Chris opens up about his challenges with dating and rejection due to his condition.

He shares his experiences with being honest about his condition and the responses he has received from potential partners.

Self-Acceptance: [00:27:05]

Over time, Chris has worked on building his self-confidence and accepting himself for who he is.

He encourages listeners to embrace their bodies and pursue happiness despite societal pressures.

Closing Thoughts: [00:30:44]

Chris offers words of encouragement to those facing similar challenges, urging them not to give up on finding love and acceptance.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Finding a friend with benefits can be hard at any age. But today’s guest, Cynthia, faced the daunting task of finding a sexual partner at the age of 78 and following the loss of her husband. She knew that she wanted a friend with benefits, and she even had her eye on someone specific. But the ultimate hurdle? Asking him.

In this fascinating and refreshingly open conversation we discuss:

1. What it looks like to be sexually active in your later years of life

2. The stigma of being a senior citizen who craves casual sex.

3. The nuances of sex with aging bodies

4. Maintaining relationships with your “couple friends” after the loss of your long-term partner

5. How to continue experiencing sexual satisfaction in your 70’s and beyond. Show Notes:

Show notes:

Guest Introduction:

• [00:01:28] Michelle introduces Cynthia, a 78-year-old widow, as the guest for this episode.
• Cynthia shares her journey of grieving the loss of her husband and the subsequent feelings of loneliness and desire for companionship.

Exploring Desire and Loneliness:

• [00:02:26] Cynthia discusses her newfound desires for companionship and sexual connection after her husband's passing.
• She reflects on the emotional and physical changes she experienced and how they led her to consider exploring a friends with benefits relationship.

Challenges and Fears:

• [00:03:39] Cynthia opens up about her fears surrounding trust, communication, and the societal expectations associated with relationships and aging.
• Michelle and Cynthia discuss the complexities of initiating conversations about sexual desires and boundaries with potential partners.

Navigating Boundaries and Expectations:

• [00:06:00] The conversation delves into the importance of setting boundaries, maintaining autonomy, and challenging societal norms in relationships.
• Cynthia shares her concerns about potential changes in dynamics and expectations if her relationship with her friend were to become sexual.

Exploring Options and Self-Reflection:

• [00:08:51] Michelle offers insights into alternative ways of meeting potential partners, such as matchmaking services and shared activities.
• Cynthia reflects on the conversation and expresses gratitude for the insights.

Conclusion:

• [00:10:21] Michelle thanks Cynthia for sharing her story and insights with listeners.
• She encourages listeners to reach out with their own stories and experiences related to desire, intimacy, and sexual exploration after loss.

Closing Credits:

• [00:11:39] Michelle provides information on how listeners can connect with the podcast, access online learning modules, and stay updated on future episodes.
• Acknowledgment of the production team Katie and Kattie from Vocal Fry Studios

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

On the surface, Bill is your everyday blue collar man. But a back-breaking injury led him down the unexpected path of sexual enlightenment. Bill takes us along on his journey from discovering Kundalini rising to being catapulted into a world where the lines between pleasure, pain, and awakening are blurred, challenging everything we think we know about male sexuality, pleasure, and the power of self acceptance.

Show Notes:

Introduction to Bill's Journey [00:00:00]: Bill discusses societal misconceptions about anal pleasure among heterosexual cis men, setting the stage for an exploration of sexual boundaries and pleasure.

Challenges of Male Sexual Exploration [00:00:15]: Michelle touches on the cultural silence around male sexual preferences, especially regarding anal stimulation, outside of locker room talk.

Bill's Early Conversations on Sexuality [00:00:26]: An anecdote from Bill illustrates the difficulty of discussing sexual experimentation among friends due to societal taboos.

Kundalini Rising: A Catalyst for Change [00:00:34]: Bill's 12-year journey of sexual awakening through Kundalini Rising is introduced, marking a significant shift in his worldview on sexual communication.

Discovering New Forms of Orgasm [00:00:50]: Bill shares his discovery of the difference between orgasm and ejaculation, experiencing super prostate orgasms for the first time.

The Impact of Life's Stagnation [01:17]: Michelle reflects on how life responsibilities can lead to sexual stagnation, contrasting Bill's early curiosity with his later awakening.

An Injury Leads to Enlightenment [01:34]: The turning point in Bill's journey was seeking pain relief for a work-related injury, which unexpectedly led to a sexual awakening during a massage therapy session.

Registered Massage Therapist [01:50]: A transformative massage therapy session opens Bill up to explore his connection with energy work.

Embracing Kundalini Rising [02:10]: Bill discusses his acceptance and curiosity about why Kundalini Rising chose him, leading to a deeper exploration of his sexuality.

The Reiki Journey [03:15]: A significant healing session involving Reiki introduces Bill to new dimensions of sexual arousal and energy work, deepening his journey.

Arousal Amid Pain: A New Understanding [04:21]: Bill recounts experiencing arousal during extreme pain, leading to questions about the nature of his sexual experiences.

Personal Research and Discovery [05:06]: Following his therapy session, Bill dives into researching Kundalini Rising, seeking to understand the profound changes he's experiencing.

Energy Perception in Social and Intimate Settings [07:09]: Bill shares how his Kundalini awakening has affected his perception of energy in different settings, altering his connection with others.

Further Exploration with a Reiki Master [08:03]: An encounter with a Reiki master friend leads to another eye-opening session, further affirming Bill's experiences and exploration.

Embracing Prostate Massage and Beyond [09:56]: Guided by a sex coach, Bill delves into prostate massage, confronting societal norms and discovering unparalleled levels of pleasure and self-awareness.

The Societal Taboos Around Male Pleasure [10:08]: Bill discusses the societal pressures and misconceptions that deter men from exploring their bodies, particularly the stigma surrounding anal pleasure.

A New Understanding of Pleasure [11:17]: Bill's experimentation with prostate massage challenges his own preconceptions and leads to profound discoveries about his body's capacity for pleasure.

Guidance from a Sex Coach [12:32]: Bill shares how a sex coach encouraged him to further explore his sexual boundaries, emphasizing the importance of self-pleasure and body awareness.

Prostate Orgasms: Breaking New Ground [13:29]: Through self-exploration and guidance, Bill experiences non-ejaculatory, multiple prostate orgasms, a revelation that redefines his understanding of male pleasure.

A Transformative Experience [14:26]: The profound and extended pleasure of a super prostate orgasm leaves Bill in awe, challenging conventional notions of male orgasm and its potential.

Continued Exploration and Growth [15:22]: Bill expresses his ongoing commitment to exploring his sexuality, underlining the positive impacts of his journey on his well-being and sexual fulfillment.

Overcoming Sexual Shame [16:17]: Michelle introduces an online learning module aimed at helping individuals navigate and overcome sexual shame, highlighting the importance of personal growth and self-acceptance.

Advice for Others Facing Sexual Shame [17:10]: Bill offers advice to listeners struggling with their own sexual explorations, emphasizing the value of seeking professional guidance and opening up about one's desires.

The Power of Sharing Personal Stories [18:00]: Bill discusses his motivation for sharing his story on the podcast, hoping to inspire others to embrace their sexuality and challenge societal norms.

Reflections on Therapy and Openness [19:15]: Michelle and Bill discuss the transformative power of therapy and the importance of having safe spaces to explore and discuss sexuality without judgment.

The Role of Communication in Relationships [20:10]: The episode touches on the complexities of discussing sexual exploration within relationships, emphasizing the need for open communication and mutual understanding.

Looking Forward: Chapter Two of Sexual Exploration [21:05]: Bill views his journey as the beginning of a new chapter in his sexual exploration, one that continues to evolve as he learns and grows.

Gratitude and Closing Thoughts [22:00]: Michelle thanks Bill for his openness and insights, highlighting the episode's themes of sexual exploration, communication, and the journey toward understanding and embracing one's sexuality.

Invitation to the Audience [22:50]: Michelle invites listeners to share their own stories and engage with the podcast community, fostering a supportive environment for discussing sexuality.

Closing and Resources [23:40]: The episode concludes with an overview of available resources for listeners interested in exploring their own sexual journeys, including the "Unlearning Sexual Shame" module.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Money is a major source of stress for so many people. We’re always thinking about it, talking about it, and worrying about it. But it’s rare that we think about the way that money affects our sexual relationships. Listen in to our conversation with Master Certified Ontological Coach, Tracey Burns, as we navigate through the seldom-discussed dynamic of money and sex. We delve into how money's influence extends far beyond the wallet and into the heart. We illuminate the challenges and opportunities that arise when navigating income differences with a partner, emphasizing the importance of open, honest conversations about finances.

Today, Tracey is a renowned coach, speaker, and advocate for financial wellness in relationships.

[00:00:00] Introduction to the Episode: Tracey discusses the impact of financial disparities on relationships and introduces the main themes of the conversation.

[00:00:34] The Relationship Escalator: Michelle talks about the dynamics she observes in couples regarding financial discussions and moving in together.

[01:03] Money and Shame: Tracey delves into how money conversations can be laden with shame and how to approach them.

[01:20] Sex, Money, and Society's Expectations: The relationship between sex, money, and societal pressures is explored, with insights on how these aspects influence each other.

[02:11] Ontological Coaching and Money Dynamics: Tracey explains ontological coaching and its application to understanding personal relationships with money.

[03:06] Using Money Conversations to Enhance Relationships: Discussion on how transparent conversations about finances can actually improve intimacy and relationship satisfaction.

[04:05] The Conversation with Tracey Burns: Michelle introduces her guest, Tracey Burns, for a deep dive into the nuances of money and relationships.

[06:01] Unpacking Financial Discrepancies in Partnerships: Tracey provides insights on how couples can navigate differences in income and financial management.

[07:40] Expectations vs. Reality in Financial Contributions: The discussion turns to managing expectations around financial contributions and understanding each other's financial standing.

[09:07] Adapting to Changes in Financial Dynamics: Strategies for couples to support each other through financial ups and downs.

[13:56] Unlearning Sexual Shame: Michelle introduces an online module aimed at addressing sexual shame and its ties to financial well-being.

[14:35] Emotional Infidelity and Financial Secrets: Tracey and Michelle discuss the parallels between discovering financial secrets and emotional infidelity.

[24:05] Closing Thoughts and Where to Find Tracey: The episode wraps up with final thoughts on money, relationships, and how to connect with Tracey Burns for more insights.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Ready for an Unforgettable Journey of Strength and Resilience?

We’re kicking off season 3 with a conversation with Ally Hensley, a woman who was born with a rare condition called Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser (MRKH) Syndrome, resulting in the absence of a vagina and reproductive organs. Our conversation follows her relationship with her body before and after diagnosis, and talks about her personal healing journey to unlearning the feelings of shame she came to feel surrounding sex and sexuality.

Today, Ally is an author, speaker, writer, and advocate for women’s reproductive health.

Show Notes

[00:00:09] Introduction by Michelle:
Michelle opens the episode by posing a thought-provoking scenario about adolescence, expectations, and the shock of discovering one's body is different, setting the stage for Ally's story.

[00:00:30] Ally's Diagnosis:
Ally Hensley recounts her personal experience with MRKH, discovered during her teenage years when she did not get her period, leading to a diagnosis that would forever change her perspective on womanhood and belonging.

[00:01:37] Emotional Impact and Isolation:
Ally discusses the emotional turmoil of growing up with MRKH, the societal pressures of womanhood, and the unique challenges of navigating adolescence with a condition few understand.

[00:02:08] Humor and Societal Norms:
Despite the challenges, Ally recalls moments of humor and the lengths she went to fit into societal norms, highlighting the complexity of identity and the desire to belong.

[00:02:38] Disclosure and Shame:
Ally talks about the internal battle with disclosing her condition, confronting shame, and finding the courage to speak her truth.

[00:03:37] Acceptance and Community:
The conversation shifts to Ally's path towards acceptance, the power of community, advocacy, and the importance of unlearning shame associated with MRKH.

[00:05:00] Sexual Education and Discovery:
Ally discusses the shortcomings of sex education, her personal exploration of sexuality, and the journey of creating her own vagina, reflecting on societal expectations and the pursuit of "typical".

[00:09:14] Medical Journey:
Ally shares her experience navigating the medical world at 16, the options presented for treatment, and the impact of her condition on family dynamics and personal growth.

[00:12:46] Stigma and Silence:
The discussion delves into the societal stigma surrounding MRKH, the importance of open dialogue, and the ongoing struggle against shame and secrecy.

[00:17:49] Womanhood and Identity:
Ally reflects on the concepts of womanhood, motherhood, and the societal pressures that define female identity, emphasizing the need for a broader, more inclusive understanding.

[00:24:28] Reconnecting with the Body:
Ally discusses the complex relationship between pain, pleasure, and body disconnect, sharing her journey towards healing and reconnecting with her body and sexuality.

[00:32:06] Overcoming Shame:
The episode concludes with Ally offering ideas for others struggling with shame, emphasizing the importance of community, self-acceptance, and challenging societal norms.

Closing Remarks by Michelle:
Michelle wraps up the episode, highlighting the significance of Ally's story in challenging silence and shame around sex and identity, and directs listeners to Ally's podcast, "Stigma Shakers," for more insights and inspiration.

Where to Find Ally:

Instagram: @Ally_Hensley

Website: https://allyhensley.com/

Podcast: Stigma Shakers

Linktree: https://linktr.ee/allyhensley

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

In this episode, we delve into the hot topic of sending nude pictures in the digital age. Responding to a listener's question, we unpack the risks involved and explore five key strategies to minimize potential harm: consent, self-awareness, anonymity, trust, and legal considerations. Whether you're contemplating sharing an intimate photo or just seeking insight into this modern phenomenon, this episode aims to equip you with the knowledge to make informed and confident decisions. Tune in!

Show Notes:

[00:00:00] Michelle: Introduction

• The safety of sending nude pictures.

[00:00:11] Addressing a Listener Question

• Michelle addresses a listener's question about the safety of sending nude pictures and outlines the objective to discuss five strategies to potentially decrease the associated risks.

[00:00:48] Point 1: Consent and Agreement

• Michelle emphasizes the importance of discussing consent with the recipient of the photos.
• She highlights the need for an explicit agreement on how the pictures will be handled (e.g., whether they will be deleted or saved securely).

[00:01:08] Self-awareness and Pressure

• Michelle encourages self-reflection on the motivations behind sending such photos, and whether one is acting out of their own desire or external pressure.
• She mentions the possible anxiety that may arise if one is sending pictures under pressure.

[00:01:36] Point 2: Anonymity

• Michelle suggests ensuring that the pictures do not include identifiable features, such as face, tattoos, birthmarks, or distinct jewelry, to maintain anonymity.

[00:02:13] Point 3: Trust

• Michelle discusses the importance of trusting the recipient, ideally someone known well.
• Have an understanding  about what will happen to the pictures if the relationship ends.

[00:03:04] Point 4: Secure Storage

• Choosing a secure, password-protected storage option and being mindful of potential family sharing plans that could expose the pictures to unintended viewers.

[00:03:31] Point 5: Legal Considerations

• Michelle underscores the importance of being informed about the age of consent and the laws regarding sending explicit photos in one’s jurisdiction, as there can be legal consequences.

[00:04:32] Final Takeaway and Conclusion

• Michelle concludes by reiterating the two primary options for reducing anxiety when considering sending explicit photos: either ensuring complete anonymity in the photo or opting not to send any photos at all.
• She emphasizes that both decisions are valid.

[00:04:57] Sign-off

• Michelle wishes listeners a great day and signs off the podcast.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Chances are, if you have a unique sexual turn-on, there are many others with the exact same inclination. So many, in fact, that you might just be able to make a career out of it. That's what Milo Miles did. We met Milo last winter at the Dan Savage Amateur Erotic Film Festival, Humpfest. Milo starred in the documentary film "The Boy with the Tighty Whities." The film was selected from hundreds of submissions and was chosen to be showcased in theaters worldwide. This was the first time he revealed a more intimate side of himself and his kink on the big screen, in front of hundreds of people.

We dive deep into Milo's childhood in Colombia, immigrating to Canada, when his interest in tighty whities began, his surprising pivot from politics to adult entertainment, and now, as he undergoes a gay renaissance, we discuss how therapy and social connections have facilitated his journey to self-acceptance. Join us for a raw, eye-opening journey from politics to porn, with self-acceptance at its core. Tune in; it’s a must-listen.

Show Notes

[00:00:00] Milo on fetish origins linked to puberty. 

[00:00:29] Michelle on sexuality as a key to understanding clients. [

00:01:16] Introduction of Milo's documentary. 

[00:01:35] Milo’s surprise at Humpfest film audience. 

[00:01:43] Milo’s transition from politician to the porn industry. 

[00:03:48] Comparison of Milo's political and current earnings. 

[00:07:24] Milo's acceptance of sexuality through therapy and growth. 

[00:09:38] Milo advocates for passion without fear of judgment.

[00:12:09] Milo’s upbringing amidst heteronormative and immigrant perspectives.

[00:15:44] Milo's challenging upbringing and family dynamics. 

[00:17:37] Milo's two-part coming out experience. 

[00:20:21] Reasons behind Milo’s career change to porn. 

[00:22:37] Milo’s parents’ reactions to his career and sexuality. 

[00:23:48] Milo’s journey and challenges as an OnlyFans creator. 

[00:25:55] Discussion on OnlyFans representation and Milo’s content strategy. 

[00:29:04] Milo’s perspective on relationships and friendships. 

[00:30:58] Milo’s advice: therapy and the normalization of sex work. 

[00:32:44] Milo's contact info. [00:33:53] Closing remarks by Michelle and show info.

Find everything Milo Miles here: https://linktr.ee/milomiles

Production Credit: Katie Jensen at Vocal Fry Studios

Check out what's happening behind the scenes at GETSOME on Instagram @GETSOME_podcast

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Ever found yourself on a date, debating between leaving on a high or just gritting your teeth to the finish? In this episode, we're uncovering the art of gracefully wrapping up dates, with a spotlight on our comfort and safety. Let's navigate the intricacies of those initial encounters. Eager to dive deep? Let's get rolling!

Show Notes

[00:00:00] - Introduction

• Ending dates and the decision to leave.

[00:00:30] - Slowing down the intimacy of a date 

• The importance of not rushing into physical intimacy.

[00:00:43] - Ending the Date with Kindness

• Strategies for ending the date while respecting personal boundaries.

[00:01:20] - Pre-Date Communication

• Setting time limits beforehand.
• Suggestions for limited-duration activities.
• Why bad dates feel like a wasted night.

[00:02:02] - Addressing Concerns and Fears

• Overcoming the fear of other people's reactions.
• Prioritizing personal feelings over societal pressure.

[00:02:40] - Handling Potential Negative Reactions

• Fears of confrontation or anger.
• The importance of safety and recognizing potential danger signs.

[00:03:16] - Safety Tips for First Dates

• Keeping personal details private.
• Limiting access to personal information.

[00:03:39] - Prioritizing Personal Safety

• Safeguarding personal information.
• The danger of sharing too much too soon.

[00:04:14] - Addressing Ghosting

• The downsides of ghosting.
• Effective ways to communicate disinterest.

[00:04:39] - Clear Communication Post-Date

• Importance of clear communication.

[00:05:19] - Closing Thoughts

• The importance of self-respect and avoiding enduring unfavorable situations.
• Advocate for personal boundaries in dating and intimate situations.

[00:05:38] - Outro

• Gratitude for listeners and encouragement to join the next discussion.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Guess what? Even 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' missed the mark on Orthodox Jewish sex! I've got Shely Esses on the show today—a Sex Therapist from Toronto, Canada. With her expertise in Jewish healing, she's here to bust myths and shine a light on the cultural nuances surrounding intimacy within the Orthodox Jewish community. Let's shtup in!

Show Notes

[00:00:00] Shely explains Judaism's sex-positive perspective: Emphasis on marital context for sexual activity.

[00:00:38] Jewish Myths Debunked: The "sheet with a hole" myth from Curb Your Enthusiasm and its origins linked to tzitzit - a traditional Jewish garment.

[00:01:50] Orthodox Jewish Marital Practices: Emphasizes on sexual satisfaction in marital agreements, the importance of physical intimacy, and the varying levels of observance and practice.

[00:03:26] Relationship with Local Orthodox Rabbis: Insights into personal connections, guidance, and the role of Yoetzet – female advisors.

[00:03:54] Mikveh and its Significance: Explores the role of menstrual blood in religious purity, and emphasizes on self-care, rejuvenation, and marital intimacy.

[00:07:21] Addressing Sexual Challenges: Approaches to tackle challenges like low desire and painful penetration, the importance of communication, techniques like dilator work, Sensate Focus, and the role of body image and sexual self-esteem.

[00:10:49] Premarital Counseling in the Jewish Community: Combines religious teachings with modern sexual health approaches while emphasizing pleasure and intimacy.

[00:12:33] Sexuality & Jewish Traditions: Highlights the significance of Shabbat in marital intimacy and the role of traditions in guiding sexual practices.

[00:13:27] Birth Control & Hasidic Community: Navigates the balance between religious beliefs and personal choices, and highlights the importance of rabbinical guidance and personal well-being.

[00:14:54] Addressing apprehensions around first-time intercourse.

[00:15:19] Shely's resources and methods:

• Recommends website OMGYES.
• Describes orgasms with the metaphor of waves.
• Discusses the importance of understanding the nervous system.

[00:15:51] Cultural insights: The significance of post-marriage intercourse in the Jewish tradition.

[00:16:12] The long-term approach to intimacy: Insights on grounding oneself before intimacy, differentiating between calmness and boredom, and advocating for meditation before sex.

[00:17:03] Michelle's input: Points out the resistance against integrating mindfulness and introduces Lori Brotto's workbook.

[00:17:24] Shely on dealing with trauma: Introduces the ventral vagal anchor technique as well as planning sex.

[00:17:48] Scheduled vs. spontaneous intimacy: Discusses the concept of Mikvah Night and addresses misconceptions about spontaneity in intimacy.

[00:18:16] Embracing terminology with confidence: Encourages understanding and confidently using terms related to sexual health and anatomy.

[00:18:49] Michelle's question on addressing shame: Shely emphasizes seeking sex therapy, particularly from professionals familiar with Jewish traditions.

[00:19:25] Resources: Dive into sex-positive aspects of Judaism with recommended readings like works by Dr. Ruth and The Kosher Kama Sutra by Shmuley Boteach.

[00:19:52] Closing remarks: Expresses gratitude to Shely for her invaluable insights and contributions.

Production Credits: katie@vocalfrystudios

About Shely:

Shely Esses RP (Qualifying) holds a marriage and family therapy (MFT) graduate degree from Iona University and currently resides in Toronto, Canada.

Shely is guided by a systemic lens, a way of seeing you as an individual with interpersonal and wider-world impacts on your life. She is passionate about helping people feel comfortable in their own skin. She is delighted to help individuals, couples, and families find balance and healing in their lives.

She is knowledgeable about the Orthodox community, ensuring clients feel understood halachically while discussing mental and physical health. She is also skilled at helping clients with pre-and post-marriage halachot.

Shely focuses on helping clients experiencing discomfort or anxiety about their sexual self-esteem, self-worth, and relationships. She is particularly interested in working with often overlooked or underserved communities, such as those in conservative religious minority groups and people in alternative relationships. Shely is skilled at weaving together practical and holistic techniques to promote nervous system regulation & deep mindfulness. 

Resources For Professionals:

Heavenly Sex: sexuality and the Jewish Tradition Dr Ruth & Jonathan Mark

The kosher Sutra: Eight Sacred Secrets for Reigniting Desire and Restoring Passion for Life by Rabbi Shmuleyu Boteach

Kabbalah and Sex Magic By Marla Segol

Podcast: Intimate Judaism with Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn

Fun reads: I will watch you: four short tales of Jewish love and Lust by Shoshana Pearl

Classes Taught by Shely: 3 CEs available! https://modernsextherapyinstitutes.com/product/sex-intimacy-and-connection-through-the-lens-of-the-sefirot-10-emanations-from-jewish-mysticism-3-ces-2023/

Disclaimer  

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Today we're diving deep into the nuances of initiation. We'll discuss sexual initiation, its dynamics, and why understanding our preferences is more crucial than we might think. If you've ever felt a little out of sync with your partner or just curious about how to create a bridge to sexual connection, this episode is for you. Let's get started!

Show Notes

Intro:

• [00:00:00] Introduction and the importance of understanding sexual initiation preferences.

Desire Discrepancy:

• [00:00:15] The challenge of aligning desires in long-term relationships.
• [00:00:28] The evolving nature of sexual desires and the fluidity of sex.

Initiating Sex:

• [00:01:00] How people approach the initiation of intimacy.
• [00:01:19] Michelle introduces a conceptual exercise to understand intimacy better.

The 0 to 10 Scale of Sexual Initiation:

• [00:01:30] Visualization of sexual initiation, from no thought of sex to after-sex activities.
• [00:02:06] Different perspectives on what constitutes the beginning of sexual encounters.

Practical Exercise:

• [00:02:34] A guide on how couples can use the exercise to discuss their ideal sexual encounters.

Conclusion:

• [00:03:06] The importance of open communication about sexual experiences.
• [00:03:30] The goal: a shared, satisfying sexual experience.

Outro:

• [00:03:50] Closing thoughts, hope for listeners to have more fulfilling intimate relationships.

Resources & Links:

• Research on post-sex cuddling and relationship satisfaction:  https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24777441/
• Exercise adapted from Barry McCarthy's model - 5 Dimensions of Touch in the book Discovering Your Couple Sexual Style

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

In this evocative episode, Toronto-based Rahat Pye, MSW, RSW — an adolescent, individual, family, and couples therapist — unravels the deeply personal story of her mother, a Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) survivor from Bombay, India. Diving deep into the trauma, defiance, and resilience, Rahat sheds light on the stark realities of FGM and its profound effect on her mother's life. As the narrative unfolds, we explore the paradox of a mother who, despite her own harrowing experiences, championed the significance of sexual health, intimacy, and pleasure. Tune in for this captivating and insightful conversation you won't want to miss!

Show Notes

[00:00:00] Rahat shares her perspective on FGM and believes it should not happen to anyone.

[00:00:17] Introduction to Rahat, a social worker from Toronto who tells the story of her mother, a survivor of FGM from Bombay, India.

[00:00:43] Explanation of FGM and its severe consequences, including that it's illegal in Canada.

[00:01:14] Rahat mentions her grandfather’s political involvement and how her mother was raised with a mix of tradition and resistance.

[00:01:33] Michelle touches on the trauma of FGM and its implications on her mother's relationship with sex.

[00:02:08] Rahat describes her mother’s painful experiences related to childbirth and FGM.

[00:03:16] Rahat shares that her mother underwent FGM as a young girl in Bombay.

[00:04:09] Rahat contemplates the impact of FGM on her mother's life and her defiance against it.

[00:05:53] Rahat emphasizes that her mother saw sex as important, valuable, and as a means of connection, despite her FGM experience.

[00:06:35] Michelle queries how Rahat learned about her mother’s FGM experience.

[00:07:39] Discussion on how Rahat's mother emphasized the importance of knowledge about their own bodies and sexual health.

[00:09:47] Rahat reflects on her mother’s will to learn and teach about the body and pleasure.

[00:10:57] Rahat provides a backstory on her mother’s immigration to Canada.

[00:13:14] Rahat discusses her mother’s experience with the medical system, trauma during childbirth, and how this affected their relationship.

[00:15:37] Rahat describes her mother's trauma and difficulty around FGM, and how it related to her trust in her body and how it functioned.

[00:15:57] Rahat's mother felt isolated and different due to her FGM experience, especially in a community where she was the only person of color.

[00:16:28] Michelle mentions the fear FGM survivors face when visiting a new doctor or gynecologist, fearing both physical examination and the doctor's reaction.

[00:17:29] Rahat and Michelle discuss the shame and societal perceptions associated with women who have undergone FGM.

[00:18:07] Rahat recalls her mother's bold and rebellious behavior, which she believes may have been her way of reclaiming her body after the trauma of FGM.

[00:18:48] Rahat reflects on her mother's openness about sex and sexuality while growing up.

[00:19:28] Rahat attributes her ease in discussing sexuality to her mother's openness and lack of shame about the subject.

[00:20:06] Michelle emphasizes the significance of Rahat's mother transforming her traumatic experience into a positive force for Rahat and her sister.

[00:21:56] Rahat reflects on her complicated relationship with her mother, admiring her resilience and ability to turn traumatic experiences into positive life lessons.

[00:23:46] Rahat comments on the continuation of FGM in certain parts of the world.

[00:25:46] Rahat describes her mother's determination to reclaim her sexuality.

[00:26:42] Rahat believes her mother would be proud of her for participating in this interview and openly discussing FGM.

[00:27:26] Rahat delves into her mother's attachment trauma and reflects on her own experiences related to childbirth, finding a connection between the two.

[00:28:48] Michelle discusses the intergenerational impact of trauma, highlighting the ripple effects of Rahat's mother's experience on Rahat.

[00:29:49] Rahat emphasizes the importance of understanding and discussing the realms of sex, pleasure, and intimacy and the significance of culture and belief systems in shaping one's identity.

[00:31:41] Michelle If you are in Canada and you believe you or someone you know is at risk of undergoing FGM, please seek assistance through your local police or child protective services. In addition, if you or the person at risk is a Canadian citizen abroad, please contact the nearest Canadian embassy or consulate. Call 1 613 996 8885.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

We're excited to share a recording of the Sex in Space podcast interview with Andrew Gurza and Heather Morrison, co-founders of Handi. Handi makes sex toys designed by and for disabled people. The mission behind Handi is that everyone should be able to ‘get off’. Listen in to hear about how Handi came to be, the hands on research behind Handi and how the bendable, flexible design of the Bump'n Joystick has revolutionized the accessibility of pleasure for all.

Show Notes:

 [00:00:17] Introducing the Sex in Space podcast trio and their mission to create a space for discussing sex across all dimensions. [00:00:46] Interview introduction for Andrew Gurza, a queer, disabled porn star who creates sex toys for people with limited hand movement. [00:01:15] Discussion on consent and disabled people's experiences with touch.

 [00:01:46] Transition to Andrew Gurza's interview.

[00:03:12] Lack of recognition of disabled people as sexual beings and the need for education in this area. [00:04:00] Discussion on the struggle for disabled people to achieve sexual pleasure on their own. 

[00:04:30] Lack of products specifically designed for disabled people's sexual needs. 

[00:05:00] Introduction to Handi, a company creating sex toys for disabled people. 

[00:05:34] Andrew and Heather Morrison, co-founders of Handi, discuss their journey and the origin of the company. 

[00:06:28] Heather and Andrew's frank conversation that led to the idea of creating sex toys for disabled individuals.

 [00:08:00] Handi's name as a playful way to reclaim the term "handicap" and address the needs of people with hand limitations. [00:08:59] The decision to write a book to share experiences and educate about sex and disability.

 [00:10:00] Launching Handi as a brand during International Masturbation Month. 

[00:10:39] The process of creating the book "Sex and Disability."

[00:11:00] Andrew Gurza's Journey as a Disability Consultant

[00:11:00] Andrew's transition from seeking a traditional job to becoming a freelance disability consultant. [

00:11:23] Andrew's early work as a disability speaker, writing articles on queerness and disability. [00:11:57] The impact of Andrew's photo shoot for a gay magazine on challenging perceptions of disability and sexuality. 

[00:13:00] The relevance of disability stories to both disabled and non-disabled individuals. 

[00:14:00] Andrew's experience reading the book "Sex and Disability" and the roller coaster of emotions it evokes. [00:15:00] The relatability of the book's stories despite different disabilities. 

[00:15:39] The impact of the book on changing perceptions and educating about disability and ableism.

[00:16:00] Discussion on Differences and Similarities: 

[00:16:00] The duality of being the same and different when it comes to sexuality. 

[00:16:31] The importance of sharing experiences and representation in breaking down societal barriers.

 [00:17:13] The bravery and confidence gained through representing disability and sexuality in media. 

[00:18:00] Andrew's journey as a freelance disability consultant and speaker. 

[00:18:29] The global impact of Andrew's work in challenging perceptions of disability and sexuality.

[00:19:00] Handi's Sex Toy Development Process

[00:19:00] Collaboration with University to validate the need and create concepts. 

[00:19:48] Testing concepts with occupational therapists and the disabled community globally. 

[00:20:59] Sending 10 prototypes to testers for feedback and collaborative refining of the design. 

[00:21:18] Continuation of testing and validation as they move toward the launch.

[00:31:19] Heather and Andrew discuss the huggable nature of their sex toy design, which allows for increased intimacy and positive emotional responses in both disabled and able-bodied individuals. They talk about how it breaks the negative cycle of anxiety for people with hand limitations, preventing worries about fatigue or inability to orgasm. 

[00:31:48] They mention that some users found comfort in the huggable nature of the toy, which helped them overcome anxiety and negative thoughts during self-pleasure. 

[00:32:22] Heather shares that the design process debunked their assumption about gender preferences in sex toys. They realized that men who thought they didn't like vibration hadn't actually tried it and found that vibration could be a better option for those unable to get an erection. 

[00:33:00] They discuss the importance of involving disabled people in the design process and how this approach led to unexpected positive consequences in their design. 

[00:36:23] Heather talks about their plans to have a range of different toys and products to cater to various needs in the market. [00:39:00] Andrew explains how their design provides a comforting, emotional experience beyond just sexual pleasure, leading to a deeper understanding of pleasure-based sexuality.

 [00:43:41] They discuss other companies in the market working on sex toys for disabled individuals, such as Hot Octopus 

[00:45:11] Andrew shares the importance of communication, consent, and sense education for disabled individuals, especially when dealing with doctors, medical professionals, and caregivers. 

[00:48:00] They discuss the lack of education around sexuality for disabled teenagers and the need for parents to have open and honest conversations with their children about their bodies and desires. 

[00:53:00] They emphasize the significance of communication, especially for disabled individuals who need to navigate intimate conversations about their bodies and needs. 

[00:57:13] The interview concludes with thanks and recommendations to check out Handi's website, book, and podcast.

Check them out on social media:

AndrewGurza_ on all social channels:

Websites:

AndrewGurza.com

https://getbumpn.com/  to find the Bump'n Joystick and their Book:The Bump'n Book of Love, Lust & Disability )

Andrew also has award winning podcast of his own, called Disability After Dark that won gold in the Outstanding Adult Series at the Canadian Podcast Awards.

[https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/episode-242-acknowledging-disability-is-like-opening/id1151890990?i=1000521820212](Disability After Dark)

Make sure to check out Sex in Space on all major podcast platforms. For more information about Sex in Space visit www.sexinspace.com

Reminder to check out our book, available at sexinspace.com/book or simply search for "The Organ Education Forgot" on Amazon.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Ever wondered how to flirt or wished someone would teach your partner? Michelle dives into the question "How do you flirt?" in today's episode. Flirting is all about personal attraction, confidence, playful gestures, and engaging body language. Michelle reminds us to pay attention to the other person's cues to see if your flirtation is reciprocated. If you are unsure, ask! If you get a green light, go ahead, unleash your inner flirt and potentially make someone's day a little brighter!  

Show Notes:

[00:00:31] Michelle compares being asked how to flirt to being asked how to have sex, emphasizing that both are highly individual experiences.

[00:01:12] Flirting is described as an act driven by personal attraction and confidence, without knowing the other person's feelings.

[00:01:41] Eye contact is highlighted as an important aspect of flirting, along with playful touches and engaging body language.

[00:02:49] Michelle acknowledges that the other person may not respond due to disinterest or distractions, and it's essential to be okay with that.

[00:03:11] The importance of respecting boundaries and paying attention to the other person's body language is emphasized.

[00:03:38] Michelle encourages having personal feelings but recognizing that acting on them may not be appropriate in certain situations.

[00:03:51] She invites listeners to reflect on how they would explain flirting to someone who is unsure or believes their partner doesn't know how to flirt.

[00:04:00] Michelle signs off, wishing everyone a great day.

[00:04:07] End of the episode.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

This is a story about how one couple embarks on a journey of rediscovering their sexual chemistry after 15 years, employing mindfulness, cannabis, and flowstate. Listen as host, Certified Sex Therapist Michelle Fischler, interviews Ellevan and Winny Clarke, hosts of the Disciplined Stoners on how covid helped to reopen their door to sexual exploration.

Show Notes:

[00:00:17] Michelle introduces the topic of rediscovering sexual chemistry after 15 years using mindfulness and cannabis.

[00:02:39] Ellevan talks about mindfulness, flow state, and his interests, including being a freestyler, comedian, singer, and cook.

[00:08:26] Winny opens up about her recent transformation, breaking free from old patterns and becoming more confident and curious.

[00:13:14] Michelle explains the concept of mindfulness and sensate focus therapy for deeper connections during sex.

[00:18:14] Ellevan and Winny's journey with mindfulness and its impact on every aspect of their lives, including sex and eating.

[00:22:30] COVID brought them closer and deepened their intimacy, leading to more open discussions about sex and their needs.

[00:27:21] They discuss jealousy in their relationship and how they navigate it through open communication.

[00:31:00] Winny shares her fantasy but also admits that she's not ready to put it into practice.

[00:35:53] The episode ends with a discussion about the importance of embracing mindfulness and breaking societal taboos around sex and body image to create a healthier and more fulfilling intimate life

[00:36:11] This show is produced by Katie Jensen at Vocal Fry Studios.

Winny Clarke is Netherlands born, Canadian raised, and resides in Toronto. She has been passionate about acting from a very young age, always involving herself in school and community theatre. In 2006, she attended The American Musical and Dramatic Academy in Los Angeles, where she studied for two years. Upon the program's completion, she moved to Vancouver, where she took to the stage in plays "Here on the Flight Path", "The Wedding Singer", and "Alice in Wonderland". In 2013, Clarke moved to Toronto with a dream of film and television. Since then, Clarke has appeared in 14 feature films, most notably being "Christmas By Chance" airing on Lifetime and the SuperChannel. Clarke is also a yoga teacher with over ten years of experience in the field, a dedicated meditation practitioner, and an animal lover and advocate. Disciplined Stoners is a space where Winny can explore and question her upbringing, decision making, and life’s purpose

Ellevan is an internationally loved vocalist, producer and entertainer from Toronto, Canada. With over 10,000 hours in the field, Ellevan earned his stripes by setting a world record of recording, producing and shooting 365 songs and music videos, in 365 days in 2018. With the buzz of his world record, he then went on an international freestyle tour throughout Indonesia, Jamaica, and U.S.A, sharing his passion for music abroad. He’s written for and collaborated with platinum status artists, Karl Wolf and Craig Smart. When he’s not in the studio, you can find him on stage for the cannabis friendly series Disciplined Stoners Live, where he, along with a live band, creates songs on the spot via audience interaction and suggestion.

Where to find DIsciplined Stoners:

Disciplined Stoners: https://www.instagram.com/disciplinedstoners

Winny Clarke: https://www.instagram.com/winnyclarke

Ellevan: https://www.instagram.com/ellevanmusic

Sign up for Winny’s Mailing List here: http://eepurl.com/gCIZg1

Follow us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1XDoMv08pT9EfyBaCXNnaj?si=7a557f0e0bf14d4d

Follow and Listen to Ellevan on Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/artist/0G1sZ8clT2oSvzQ3IL2ZRd?si=vJVw9FLyS6GtF453Ny21kQ

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Is sex therapy really effective? In this episode, Michelle tackles common questions she gets asked before potential clients decide if sex therapy is the right fit. She emphasizes the importance of finding a good fit and comfort level before diving into therapy. With a solid therapeutic alliance and a willingness to delve deeper into their sexual narrative, sex therapy can truly work wonders.

Show Notes:

[00:00:00] [THEME SONG]

[00:00:33] Michelle introduces the topic and explains the importance of establishing a good fit and comfort level before starting sex therapy.

[00:01:08] She discusses the common questions clients ask, such as the effectiveness of sex therapy and the expected number of sessions.

[00:01:37] Michelle shares her observations from her practice, mentioning that therapy rarely makes things worse and helps clients gain insight.

[00:02:15] She highlights that clients who are patient, committed, and willing to work on their relationship have the most success in therapy.

[00:02:48] The limitations of therapy are discussed, with the reminder that therapy sessions are just a small portion of clients' overall lives.

[00:03:00] Couples have the choice to engage in the work, and hesitation may indicate underlying issues to be addressed.

[00:03:19] The effectiveness of sex therapy is linked to the therapeutic alliance and clients' willingness to explore deeply held concerns.

[00:04:00] The importance of both partners taking responsibility and not blaming each other is emphasized.

[00:04:22] Michelle expresses her strong belief in the effectiveness of sex therapy, attributing it to the therapist-client relationship and clients' openness to doing the work.

[00:04:53] Michelle concludes the episode and signs off.

[00:05:00] End of the episode.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Today, I had the incredible opportunity to speak with the remarkable Marlee Liss. Marlee is a somatic educator, award-winning speaker, author, restorative justice advocate and lesbian Jewish feminist. Marlee made history in the justice system when her sexual assault case became the 1st in North America to conclude with restorative justice through the courts. Since then, she has coached hundreds of women and non-binary folk in healing shame and transforming trauma. I had the privilege of talking with Marlee about her story, what somatic education is and the positive impact that somatic healing can have for survivors of sexual assault and healing shame. Get ready for a thought-provoking and empowering conversation!

Show Notes

Intro:

[00:00:15] Michelle introduces Marlee Liss, restorative justice advocate, award winning speaker and somatic sex educator

[00:00:39] Marlee explains restorative justice and its focus on repair and healing 

[00:01:19] Michelle discusses Marlee's groundbreaking case and its impact on her sense of self. 

[00:02:00] Marlee's experience with sexual trauma and questioning her sexuality 

[00:02:23] Michelle introduces somatic education and its connection to healing 

[00:03:15] Marlee shares the importance feeling connected with one's body for self-care 

[00:04:05] The significance of understanding our bodies' needs for healthy relationships

Start of Interview

[00:04:25] Michelle acknowledges Marlee's achievements and discusses restorative justice 

[00:05:00] Marlee explains restorative justice as an approach prioritizing repair and healing 

[00:06:06] Michelle asks about the somatic lens in relation to restorative justice 

[00:07:00] Marlee explores the body's wisdom and the shift from judgment to recognizing function 

[00:07:53] Marlee shares her journey as a dancer  

[00:08:49] Exploring somatics as a means of processing trauma and healing 

[00:10:25] Michelle discusses the challenges survivors face in intimate relationships 

[00:11:39] Marlee reflects on her own experience with trauma, sexuality, and self-reflection 

[00:12:14] The importance of building a loving relationship with oneself 

[00:13:06] Marlee emphasizes the need to process trauma in a safe environment

 [00:14:05] Marlee's exploration of her relationship to sexuality and boundaries

 [00:15:04] Michelle highlights the societal conditioning and scripts around sexuality 

[00:16:18] Marlee emphasizes the importance of relational healing and communication 

[00:17:00] Michelle discusses the role of trauma-informed care in sexual relationships 

[00:18:23] Marlee shares her journey towards liberation and authentic identity 

[00:19:24] The significance of skillful care and trauma-informed interactions 

[00:20:08] Michelle emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and having uncomfortable conversations

[00:20:54] Marlee: Talks about the discomfort of setting boundaries in the short term and the consequences of not setting boundaries in the long term. 

[00:21:20] Michelle: Asks Marlee about the common reasons people seek somatic education. 

[00:22:21] Marlee: Discusses the unkind conditions of Western society that are unkind to the body, such as capitalist urgency culture, burnout, vicarious trauma, and pressure to heal quickly. 

[00:23:31] Marlee: Mentions the additional challenges of body shame, body image issues, disordered eating, and the impact of a culture of fat phobia and objectification.

 [00:24:24] Michelle: Asks Marlee how to approach helping someone with a history of sexual trauma and body discomfort. 

[00:24:49] Marlee: Emphasizes the collaborative and non-expert approach of somatic education, encouraging clients to tap into their body wisdom and recognizing the brilliance of the body's natural processes. 

[00:25:37] Marlee: Suggests asking guiding questions to bring someone into their body, such as noticing sensations and exploring the wisdom of certain body movements. 

[00:26:53] Michelle: Comments on the mindful aspect of the somatic approach and the importance of bringing awareness to the mind-body connection. 

[00:28:19] Marlee: Defines dissociation as numbing or checking out, and explains the freeze response as a self-protective mechanism that can be observed in animals as well. 

[00:31:14] Marlee: Defines glimmers as cues of safety and discusses their importance in the healing process. 

[00:32:31] Marlee: Provides strategies for self-regulation during a trauma response, such as dialoguing with the body, orienting oneself, and using breath and other sensory cues. 

[00:36:19] Marlee: Talks about her current projects, including a documentary and speaking engagements on topics like restorative justice, trauma-informed pleasure, and queer sex education. 

[00:37:43] Marlee: Shares her contact information, including her Instagram handle, website, and newsletter. 

[00:38:58] Marlee: Encourages listeners to reach out 

[00:39:22] Michelle: Asks Marlee for a helpful message for someone who has experienced sexual trauma. 

[00:40:26] Marlee: Expresses gratitude for the conversation and thanks the listeners.

Where to find Marlee Liss:

Marlee Liss's Website and Instagram

Don’t forget to subscribe to Marlee’s newsletter on her website for free resource guides to restorative justice, queer empowerment, and healing after trauma.

Institute for Somatic Education

This show was produced by Katie Jensen at Vocal Fry Studios

Show ideas or questions? Email michelle@getsome.ca and follow me on Instagram @getsome_podcast

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Where were you when you heard that Sue Johanson had died? Did you text someone with the news, or did someone text you? Today's episode is about grief. Host Michelle Fischler, who has openly credited her career as a certified sex therapist to sex educator Sue Johanson, recounts the moment she found out about Sue's passing through a text from her 15-year-old son. Michelle has never met Sue and never will, but the loss of Sue Johanson will leave a lasting impact on Canadians.

Show Notes

[00:00:00] Introduction

• GETSOME host Certified Sex Therapist Michelle Fischler introduces the episode and mentions the news of Sue Johanson's passing on June 29th, 2023.
• Explains the significance of this moment and the personal connection to Sue Johanson's work.

[00:00:15] A Fond Farewell to "Sex with Sue"

• Reflects on the impact of major events that leave a lasting memory.
• Recounts receiving a message from the host’s 15-year-old son expressing shock at Sue Johanson's passing.
• Confirms the news by checking CBC news.
• Describes the outpouring of messages and comparisons to the loss of a family member.
• Expresses a deep sense of sadness and personal connection to Sue Johanson's work.

[00:02:00] The Magic of Sue Johanson

• Acknowledges that Sue Johanson will always be a part of her memories and experiences.
• Notes the unique presence Sue Johanson had in the host’s mind.
• Reflects on the realization that they will never have the opportunity to meet Sue Johanson in person.
• Mentions indirectly connecting with Sue Johanson through an interview with Lisa Rideout, director of the Sex Sue film.
• Encourages listeners to watch the film for its amazing content.

[00:03:02] Sue Johanson's Influence on Sexuality Education

• Expresses a mix of sadness and belief that Sue Johanson's impact remains strong.
• Speculates about the influence of Sue Johanson on Canada's prominence in sex research.
• Mentions Canadian researchers in the field of sex education who are continuing the work.
• Recognizes Sue Johanson as a trailblazer who paved the way for current educators.
• Emphasizes the importance of Sue Johanson's teachings during hosts’ early years.
• Highlights the positive impact of Sue Johanson's work, resulting in healthier conversations about sex.

[00:04:31] Gratitude and Farewell

• Expresses gratitude for Sue Johanson's influence and the opportunity to learn from her.
• Uses the metaphor of "standing on the shoulders of giants" to describe Sue Johanson's legacy.
• Expresses immense luck and appreciation for having Sue Johanson as a part of their life.
• Concludes the episode with a heartfelt farewell.

[00:05:04] Conclusion

• Host signs off,  saying goodbye  to listeners.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

We've heard countless tales of sex-starved married men, but have you ever wondered about the untold stories of sex-starved married women? We're delving into the unique challenges faced by women in this predicament.

Show Notes

00:00 She wants more sex than him and he thinks something is wrong with her

00:57 Painful to hear her friends talk about always being pursued for sex by their husbands

01:46 She feels undesirable and feels a lot of shame

02:19 Reasons he may not be wanting to have sex with her

03:18 If you are male and not wanting to have sex with your partner we want to to hear your side.

03:50 Send a voicemail recording or email to michelle@getsome.ca

04:47 How to tell your partner that you want more sex.

05:33 Follow me on Instagram at getsome_podcast

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Zero gravity does what to erections?! We were fortunate to be joined by the crew of the Sex in Space podcast, which includes Dr. Jane Harrington, Toshiko Frederickson, and Tim Blower, all the way from New Zealand, to take us on an intergalactic sexual adventure through the cosmos and back. We begin with intergalactic astronaut adventures, followed by a descent to Earth to cover the snake clitoris, magical clownfish, kangaroos, aphrodisiacs, and condom tricks. So, if you're ready, let's dive into a fascinating discussion about sex that spans across countless dimensions.

Show Notes:

[00:00:23]  Has anyone had sex in space?

[00:01:15] The majority of people still don't know that the clitoris is an organ. 

[00:00:58] On my sex fact quest, I came across Sex and Space, a group of fellow sex geeks from New Zealand who have made it their mission on earth to create a space for people to talk and learn about sex across all of its dimensions, even in outer space.

[00:02:02] Dr. Jane Harrington, Toshiko Frederickson's, and Tim Blower from the Sex and Space Podcast tell us how they landed on this mission.

[00:02:27] How a 16 year old boy answered the question “How do you know when sex is finished?” 

[00:03:10] The creative way that they came up with the name Sex in Space.

00:04:45]  What we know about sex and space and what some of the concerns are.

[00:10:30] It's harder to get on The Bachelor than it is to become an astronaut that gets picked to go to space. 

[00:11:36] Why it took so long to realize that snakes have a clitoris

[00:13:58] A trick to making condoms more pleasurable

[00:16:26] The importance of mixing humour into conversations about sex

[00:16:26 Foods that can increase desire

[00:18:02] What is the benefit of a Kangaroo having three vaginas?

[00:20:54] You can find Sex in Space on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok @sexandspace.com. Or email: hello@sexandspace.com

[00:21:00]This episode was produced by Katie Jensen at Vocal Fry Studios

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Does the thought of online dating stress you out? Are you looking for a more traditional dating approach? Do in-person matchmaking evenings still exist? If they don't, they should. Michelle recalls a brief yet hilarious encounter from her younger days when she was asked to fill in as the missing woman in an unevenly numbered matchmaking event. The evening was not only intriguing but also eye-opening. So, who's up for the challenge? Let the matchmaking games begin!

Show Notes

[00:00:00] In person matching making events for those that are dating app adverse

[00:00:46] The matchmaker would need a large pool of people including LGBTQ+

[00:01:09] There are a lot of people that are way more comfortable with more traditional ways of dating vs dating apps. 

[00:01:38] My experience working at a matchmaking event. 

[00:03:34] How do people find out if there is a mutual match?

[00:03:58] Reach out to me at Michelle@getsome.ca if you are setting up a matchmaking event.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Have you ever found yourself curious about the unique experiences of being gay in today's world? Join us as we dive into the vibrant, nuanced realm of gay dating, sex, drugs, and masculinity with board-certified sexology educator and host of the Sex Ed With Tim Podcast, Tim Lagman. Known for his unapologetic authenticity as a 'chaotic homo', Tim is dedicated to advocating for LGBT sexual health, pleasure, and social activism. With his charismatic humor and enlightening insights, he'll guide us on an entertaining, laughter-filled journey through the intricacies of gay love and relationships. Get ready to step into a new world, challenge your perceptions, and perhaps discover something extraordinary. Our exploration starts here!

Show notes:

03:42 What is a Certified Sexology educator

05:20 Straight identified men that see gay sex workers

09:14 Gay men and body image

11:34 Dating on Grindr

13:49 Discrimination on Grindr

14:34 Performance anxiety 

16:40 Sex is more than having a hard penis

18:45: Poppers

21:24 Crystal meth

22:38 HIV epidemic

22:45 Unfairness in the healthcare system

23:00 Party drugs and gay culture

25:12 Harm reduction versus abstinence model

26:22 PrEP  (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis)

32:24 Dating apps

33:56 Having clear boundaries

35:23 This show is produced by Katie Jensen at Vocal Fry Studios. Show ideas or questions? Email michelle@getsome.ca and follow me on Instagram @getsome_podcast

About Tim Lagman:

Tim is a board certified sexology educator with the American Board of Sexology and a pleasure advocate based in Toronto, Canada. He began his sexual journey through escorting where he worked with a number of clients from different backgrounds and all walks of life ranging from couples, individuals, poly relationships, and everything in between. He then went to obtain his advanced diploma in Business Management and graduated with honours. Combining his knowledge of sex and business, he decided to combine the two fields to start his journey as a sex educator delivering workshops, speaking on panels, shows, and podcasts, and providing expert advice on sexual health publications. In his free time, Tim likes to volunteer and give back to the community through outreach in Toronto’s LGBTQ+ scene providing sex education and harm reduction resources to the public. It is his mission in life to make sex fun and funny as he loves to make people laugh and believes in the curative powers of hilarity. Sex is already a sensitive and touchy subject. We might as well laugh at the fart noises!

Find Tim Here:

https://www.sexedwithtim.com/about-me

https://www.instagram.com/sexedwithtim

https://www.instagram.com/gayslutclown

Resources:

This is a list of common party drugs as well as safer substance usage techniques and overdose prevention 

(http://torontovibe.com/)

This one is specifically for crystal meth and finding addiction support (http://himynameistina.com/)

This is an interactive platform to see how each party drug interacts with one another (https://combo.tripsit.me/)

This is a risk calculator for HIV transmission (https://hivrisk.cdc.gov/risk-estimator-tool/#+mb|iai)

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Show Notes

00:55 Dating is a hot topic in my practice

01:01 Where were people going on dates during Covid?

01:04 Shame and secrecy around dating during covid and fear around being judged.

02:04 Sex did not stop during Covid

02:15 The best idea for a dating spot during covid

02:57 The plant section at Home Depot needs a cafe

04:12 Home Depot is a great place to pick up supplies, buy flowers and see attractive humans.

04:50 If anyone listening works at Home Depot or owns a Home Depot you should put in a cafe and also sponsor my show.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Show notes:

00:07 90% of people with a penis who are between 35 and 55 have struggled to get an erection firm enough for intercourse

03:17 What is Erectile Self Efficacy?

03:40 Autonomous sexual erections aren’t realistic

04:42 The alternative to panicking and apologizing

04:52 The "Good Enough Sex" Model

05:26 It's almost always the man's choice to stop having sex

07:32 Where did we go wrong in having guys believe that sex is always supposed to be this one way?

07:53 Men have been lied to about their sexuality

08:21 Responsive male sexual desire

08:45 Men lie to each other about sex

08:51 Using medications as part of erectile self efficacy

09:14 Self-consciousness is the most anti-erotic thing you do

09:37 How to reduce performance anxiety

10:39 Grandfather of sex, Bill Masters

10:50 How do you know a man is cured of erectile dysfunction?

11:14 What to say when penetration isn't going to be part of the sexual experience

11:33 Good Enough Sex Model and Michael Metz

12:37 Working together as an erotic ally

13:44 Desire is not based on performance - desire is based on sharing pleasure

14:27 Orgasm is not the best measure of satisfaction

14:52 Waxing and Waning of erections exercise

16:44 Sex is more than penetration

16:48 What is sex?

17:13 Prostate cancer

18:46 How to know when you are ready for penetration?

19:34 Why do men fail with pro erection medications?

20:17 Pro-penis approach

20:48 Medical evaluation is very important

21:49 Don't assume that because you have a medical problem, like cancer, diabetes, or heart condition, that you cannot be sexual

22:15 Missionary style is not the best position in your 60's. 70's, and 80's

25:26 This show is produced by Katie Jensen at Vocal Fry Studios

25:32 Show ideas or questions? Email michelle@getsome.ca and follow me on Instagram @getsome_podcast

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Who's leveling up in the game of life? Raise a toast and light some virtual candles because GETSOME turns one today!  

Listen to the three knowledge bombs dropped over the past year that expanded our minds like cosmic jelly beans.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

How would you answer "How do you do oral sex?"  without going into graphic detail about how you actually do oral sex? We came up with the best analogy. Tune in to feel all warm and fuzzy.

Also, if you are looking for great oral sex tips and tricks check out;

Coral:  https://getcoral.app/

OMGyes:  https://start.omgyes.com/join

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Today, we are going to take you on a journey exploring the intersection of eating disorders and sexuality. This episode will not only be helpful for clinicians but also for people who have struggled to experience pleasure in their body stemming from complicated relationships with food and body image. We sit down with Kelli Young, the only Certified Sex Therapist in Canada with a combined expertise in the field of eating disorders and sexuality. Kelli has worked in the field of Eating Disorders for more than 30 years, both in the public and private sectors.  She has authored publications in professional journals and popular media, and she has presented internationally on topics related to eating disorders, couples, and sexuality.  Kelli has a private practice in Toronto focused on relationship therapy and sex therapy. Are you ready to discover ways to support others or rediscover your own path to pleasure after navigating a complex relationship with food? Let's begin.

Show notes:

Eating Disorders versus Disordered Eating

Eating Disorders happen across genders 

Common types of disorders 

Survival vs Sex

Trauma history

Vaginismus

Pelvic pain

Eating disorders and their impact on relationships 

Reclaiming your relationship with your body and pleasure

Where to find Kelli Young:

https://kelliyoungtherapy.com/

Support for Eating Disorders:

https://nedic.ca/

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Ever wondered how sex workers balance personal and professional lives? Are you curious about their clients and partners? Our highly-anticipated guests Elizabeth Weisz and Katherine Van Meyl from Season 1  are back and ready to get personal. Ever heard of the term Internalized Whorephobia? You're about to. This is a conversation you won't want to miss.

Show Notes:

Who are the clients?

Sliding scale for people with disabilities 

Balancing the personal with the professional

Pregnancy and sex work

Transferable skills

Find Elizabeth Weisz Here:

www.meetelizabethweisz.com

Twitter: @YourElizabethTO 

IG: @Ellieweisz_to 

Find Katherine Van Meyl Here:

https://umbrellainsights.ca/

Twitter: @KatVanMeyl 

IG: @KatVanMeyl 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/katherine-van-meyl/

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

De-Andrea Blaylock-Solar  is Missouri's first Black Christian AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, who helps clients navigate the intersection of faith and sexuality, particularly for those who may be struggling with guilt or shame around their sexual desires and behaviors. We talk about how De-Andrea removes shame from conversations around sex by using scripture that supports pleasure, a pro choice, orgasm, pleasure perspective.  We also cover the systemic issues reinforcing the barriers to having more Black certified sex therapists in the field and what White Sex Therapists need to know about how racism continues to impact Black peoples relationship with sex - and how this will continue to be reinforced as White Sex Therapists continue working from a model of sex therapy that is based on the western White person’s experience.

Show Notes:

Wanting Christians to have good sex

Systemic racism and how it affects the representation of Black people in the field of sex therapy

Using Jesus as a conduit to carry the shame

Having shame free sex doesn't mean you have to leave behind your faith

How to be Christian and pro-choice

How racism impacts the way Black men view themselves as sexual beings

Some ways of thinking about sex as a Black woman that more White sex therapists should know about

Find De-Andrea Blaylock-Solar Here:

https://www.sankofasextherapy.com/therapists

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Lisa and Michelle play Six Degrees of Sue Johanson 

Sue’s first birth control clinic at Don Mills Collegiate was where Michelle went to highschool

Michelle and Lisa reminisce about their personal sex education memories from high school

Lisa meets the lovely and still spunky Sue

Pregnancy and sex

Getting acquainted with your vulva after giving birth

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Curious about the difference between mainstream porn and ethical porn/feminist porn? Do you even know where to find it? Who better to ask than the engaging and dynamic Sonya JF Barnett, RP.  It’s rare to find an ethical porn producer/director, turned intimacy coordinator, (yes, we’ll talk about that) turned sex therapist! 

Show Notes:

0:24  Playboy Magazine

02:06 Risk Aware Consensual Kink RACK

02:39 Hump Film Festival

07:05 Intimacy Coordinator IC and the Me Too Movement

02:44 Dan Savage

04:18 Feminist Porn and Ethical Porn 

06:36 Erika Lust

08:19 HBO

10:34 Modesty garments

16:18 Kink Fantasy and Kink Protocols

18:27 Sasha Grey

20:37 Co-founder of Slut Walk Toronto

21:51 Viewing porn and shame

23:35 Anxiety about watching porn

24:05 Sex Therapist

27:22 Sue Johanson, Dr. Ruth Westheimer, and Sex with Sue 

37:47 Produced By Katie Jensen at Vocal Frye Studios 

Ethical Porn Recommendations Vetted by Sonya JF Barnett

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Join Canadian Certified Sex Therapist, Michelle Fischler as she embarks on a mission to inspire humans to embrace their sexuality, igniting a sexual revolution that spans across cultures, belief systems, and lifestyles.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

If you are having sex you should know about Sensate Focused Therapy, a widely used technique amongst sex therapists. This form of therapy helps support clients in getting out of their head and into their bodies when giving or receiving touch. It can be useful for a range of different relationships like those with a history of pelvic pain, people with penises experiencing anxiety around getting an erection, relationships where a desire discrepancy has been present and more. Not in a relationship, not a problem, sensate is versatile.

Today’s guest, Linda Weiner, a licensed clinical social worker, owner of Sex Therapist St. Louis, and co-author of the book Sensate Focus in Sex Therapy: The Illustrated Manual, joins host Michelle Fischler. Together, they discuss what Sensate Focused Therapy is, how individuals and couples can benefit from it, and more. 

Show Notes: 

02:16: What is Sensate Therapy? 

05:00: The goal of Sensate Therapy

07:13 The trilogy of good sex

12:11: Why do some people need Sensate Focused Therapy? 

16:56: A person’s introduction to Sensate Focused Therapy

25:41: Boredom in the bedroom

29:00: Making time to have sex/how often should you have it? 

33:05: The importance of touch

35:15: If penetration isn’t the goal/conversations around sex with partner

40:22: Do people need to go to a sex therapist for Sensate Therapy? 

Where you can find Linda:

www.sextherapiststlouis.com

https://www.instagram.com/lindajweiner/

Twitter: couplesguru

www.facebook.com/lindaweinercouplesguru

You Tube: Recovering your sex drive with Sensate Focus Mindful Touching Techniques 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpqwyXDSsvk

Disclaimer

All opinions expressed by podcast guests / participants are solely their current opinions and do not reflect the opinions of GETSOME Inc. or affiliates or the companies with which the podcast guests / participants are affiliated, and may have been previously disseminated by them. The guests / participants opinions are based upon information they consider reliable, but neither GETSOME Inc. nor its affiliates, nor the companies with which such guests/participants are affiliated, warrant its completeness or accuracy, and it should not be relied upon as such.

Follow us on Instagram @getsome_podcast

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Various organizations across Canada are advocating for the decriminalization of sex work. This includes the Canadian Association of Social Workers, who’s code of ethics seeks to balance the protection of individuals and the principle of doing no harm with autonomy and self-determination. The advocacy only applies to the selling of sex between two consenting adults.

Today’s guests, Elizabeth Weisz and Katherine Van Meyl, are supporters of the decriminalization of sex work. Elizabeth Weisz is a companion and sex worker who has been in the industry for almost seven years. Katherine Van Meyl is a therapist who adopts a psychodynamic perspective in the treatment of couples, families, and individuals. She also used to be part of the sex work industry and is creating a documentary highlighting male sex workers’ experiences within the industry.

In this episode, host Michelle Fischler speaks with Elizabeth and Katherine about their experiences in the industry, thoughts on the decriminalization of the industry, and more.

Show Notes:

2:25: Defining industry terminology – “sex worker” versus “companion

11:37: Legalities of sex work

23:13: Safety of sex workers

29:41: Supporting sex workers as a therapist

35:32: Relying on the sex work community as a sex worker

38:00: Getting into the industry

51:12: Benefits of being in the industry

57:56: Katherine’s documentary

Find Katherine Van Meyl here:

www.umbrellainsights.ca

Twitter: @KatVanMeyl

Instagram: @KatVanMeyl

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/katherine-van-meyl/

Find Elizabeth Wiesz here: 

Twitter: @YourElizabethTO

IG: @Ellieweisz_to

Website: www.meetelizabethweisz.com (http://www.meetelizabethweisz.com/)

CASW The Canadian Association of Social Workers Provides Recommendations for a Safer, Better Canada for Sex-Workers

https://www.casw-acts.ca/en/canadian-association-social-workers-provides-recommendations-safer-better-canada-sex-workers

Show ideas or questions? 

If you have questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, email them to michelle@getsome.ca. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. 

Disclaimer 

All opinions expressed by podcast guests / participants are solely their current opinions and do not reflect the opinions of GETSOME Inc. or affiliates or the companies with which the podcast guests / participants are affiliated, and may have been previously disseminated by them.  The guests / participants opinions are based upon information they consider reliable, but neither GETSOME Inc. nor its affiliates, nor the companies with which such guests/participants are affiliated, warrant its completeness or accuracy, and it should not be relied upon as such.

Follow us on Instagram @getsome_podcast

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

A revolutionary anti-government protest in Iran was sparked on Sept 16th, 2022, after 22-year-old Iranian woman Mahsa Amini was picked up and detained by Iran’s "morality police" for showing too much hair. About three months have passed, and innocent lives have been lost yet the people of Iran continue to hold their ground and fight back. For women, for life, for freedom.  We invited our guest “Iran”, who asked to be anonymous for safety reasons, back in November to reflect on Iran’s political regime and how growing up queer in the Islamic republic, where a woman’s value is worth half of a man, impacted how they expressed romantic interest as well as how they embraced their true sexual self.

Thank you, Iran, for sharing all of these intimate thoughts with the GETSOME team and listeners   

Enjoy the Episode

Shownotes:

00:30 A short brief introduction of the recent news . What happened in Iran

05:02 What makes “Women Life Freedom” different

06:50 “Iran” is also an old-fashioned female name

08:40 There’s always a fear of getting arrested

15:44 This is a game about how to behave

28:32 Being queer risks facing the death penalty

29:05 Women are worth half of a man in Iranian laws and society

37:54 I knew I was a queer kid when I was young, and I felt lucky

42:50 My mom sat us down and explained sex to us while living in Iran

45:38 I feel like my parents purposely put porn around the house for us to find

48:02 The social values impacted my sexual self a lot

53:23 Some save their virginity by having anal sex

57:03 I feel like I’m missing out on something when it comes to sex

58:26 Even men are victims of this patriarchal society

61:08 What you are fighting for is exactly what you have

65:00 What can we do to support the revolution?

If you have questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. Send your questions or show ideas to  Michelle@getsome.ca

All opinions expressed by podcast guests / participants are solely their current opinions and do not reflect the opinions of GETSOME Inc. or affiliates or the companies with which the podcast guests / participants are affiliated, and may have been previously disseminated by them.  The guests / participants opinions are based upon information they consider reliable, but neither GETSOME Inc. nor its affiliates, nor the companies with which such guests/participants are affiliated, warrant its completeness or accuracy, and it should not be relied upon as such.

Follow GETSOME on Instagram: @getsome_podcast

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Has anyone ever told you that your sexual concerns are all in your head? Well, that’s not always the case. There is another treatment option worth exploring. Pelvic Floor Physiotherapy can help treat sexual and pelvic concerns such as painful intercourse or penetration, early or delayed ejaculation, and can also support the recovery from gender affirmation surgery. Excited to learn more?  We invited Michiko Caringal to GET SOME to discuss pelvic pain for penises and vulvas from a physiotherapy and sex therapy perspective.

Time to take a deep breath and Get Happy Down There!

Show notes:

02:50 What is Pelvic Pain and how do you know you are having it?

04:50 How about period pain?

05:30 Please, don’t swallow your pain!

10:00 Early ejaculation can, in many cases, be treated by pelvic health physiotherapy

13:15 Constipation can be a clue

18:10 Transgender pelvic health. Recovery, scars, and comforts

20:25 You can choose to have a penis, a vagina, or both

26:40 From 18 to 88, it’s not about the age, it’s about the symptoms

29:00 Will I have to put something into my vagina to treat pain?

32:05 Partners are very welcome to attend appointments, with consent

37:30 What is the first step to seeing a pelvic floor physiotherapist? 

42:00 Breathing! Neat Techniques

48:00 Interested and curious to learn more?

50:00 Don’t do kegels just because social media told you to!

51:00 Michiko: Physiotherapy changed my life from every perspective

53:00 Where can I find you, Michiko? Every gender is super welcome 

Michiko Caringal, MScPT, MHSc in Bioethics

Michiko Caringal is the Founder and Owner of Happy Down There Physiotherapy in Vancouver, British Columbia.  Michiko holds a Master of Science in Physical Therapy as well as a Master of Health Science in Bioethics from the University of Toronto. She works part-time as a pelvic health physiotherapist at the University of British Columbia Hospital in the Bladder Care Centre with renowned Urologists and Urogynecologists. 

website: www.happydownthere.ca

@happydownthere.ca

If you have questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us!Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. Send your questions or show ideas to  Michelle@getsome.ca

Guest Opinion Disclaimer:   All opinions expressed by podcast guests / participants are solely their current opinions and do not reflect the opinions of GETSOME Inc. or affiliates or the companies with which the podcast guests / participants are affiliated, and may have been previously disseminated by them.  The guests / participants opinions are based upon information they consider reliable, but neither GETSOME Inc. nor its affiliates, nor the companies with which such guests / participants are affiliated, warrant its completeness or accuracy, and it should not be relied upon as such.

Follow us on Instagram: getsome_podcast

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Sexual liberation is not a fresh concept these days.

But, when we mention a sex club, what comes to mind for you? A space that allows curiosity to unfold surrounded by like-minded people?  This time we invited Fatima Mechtab (a.k.a. ‘Miss F’) to introduce us to the sex club, Oasis Aqualounge – a water themed, adult private membership spa and lounge in downtown Toronto. 

Shownotes:

01’47 Oasis Aqualounge is a water-themed sex club 

05’20 Full-swap, soft-swap, single and multiple

12’05 Wow she is so confident, so beautiful 

15’35 It’s all about how you think about yourself

21’46 More people are interested in exploring themselves after COVID

25’30 Who is Fatima Mechtab?

31’43 I don’t feel shame about sex, but I feel I should

33’18 When I say I’m sexually open, what it represents

38’30 Pool, events, and rooms - choose whatever you want

40’04 Bukkake is not a topic for everyone

43’50 Recommend me the best events at Oasis Aqualounge

49’44 Where can I find Oasis Aqualounge?

----------------------------------------------------------------

Fatima Mechtab (a.k.a. 'Miss F') is an Event Producer, Host, P.R Representative, and Business Partner at Oasis Aqualounge

Here is where to find Oasis Aqualounge online:

https://oasisaqualounge.com

https://www.instagram.com/aquaflirts/?hl=en

https://twitter.com/Oasis231mutual

https://www.facebook.com/OasisAqualounge231/photos/?ref=page_internal

If you have questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. Send your questions or show ideas to  Me@getsome.ca

  Guest Opinion Disclaimer:   All opinions expressed by podcast guests / participants are solely their current opinions and do not reflect the opinions of GETSOME Inc. or affiliates or the companies with which the podcast guests / participants are affiliated, and may have been previously disseminated by them.  The guests / participants opinions are based upon information they consider reliable, but neither GETSOME Inc. nor its affiliates, nor the companies with which such guests / participants are affiliated, warrant its completeness or accuracy, and it should not be relied upon as such.  

Follow us on Instagram: @getsome_podcast

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Did you know that the average person will spend a third of their life in the menopause transition?

We invite Certified Sex Therapist Nicole Schroeder this time to talk about ways to get comfortable with this stage of our life; How Generation X is pushing forward the conversation about menopause more than any other generation and, where to go for help when you are struggling with symptoms of perimenopause?

Show notes:

00:35 Our Guest Nicole Schroeder – Introduction

02:10 Everyone that has ovaries will go through menopause

06:40 How do you know when you are experiencing perimenopause?

09:20 Generation X are handling menopause differently compared to other generations

15:04 Menopause became a joke in western pop culture 

21:53 Stop treating menopause as a mid-life crisis

31:53 Some symptoms can be treated under different methodologies

35:06 Pelvic pain is not all in your head

49:00 Expecting to always have an orgasm at the same time as your partner is similar to expecting to have a Michelin Star style meal every time you cook 

54:00 Let’s talk about pelvic floor physiotherapy treatment next time 

57:00 Where to find Nicole Schroeder?

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Nicole Schroeder is a Registered Social Worker with the College of Social Workers in Ontario (OCSWSSW). She is a certified member of BESTCO (Board of Examiners in Sex Therapy and Counselling in Ontario).  She currently works in an outpatient gynecology clinic at a downtown Toronto hospital and in private practice, with a focus on individual, relationship, and sex therapy. Nicole also facilitates virtual groups on menopause, a variety of pelvic pain conditions and sexual wellbeing.  She runs virtual groups at Bria, a virtual mental health clinic that provides support and treatment for cis-women, non-binary folks, and transgender women experiencing mental health challenges across their reproductive lifecycles.

Nicole Schroeder http://www.nicoleschroeder.ca/about.html

Instagram: @nicoleschroedertherapy

Menopause Support Groups: https://betterbria.janeapp.com/

Book: The Menopause Manifesto

https://www.menopause.org/for-women/book-reviews/i-the-menopause-manifesto-own-your-health-with-facts-and-feminism-i

If you have questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. Send your questions or show ideas to  Me@getsome.ca

Guest Opinion Disclaimer:   All opinions expressed by podcast guests / participants are solely their current opinions and do not reflect the opinions of GETSOME Inc. or affiliates or the companies with which the podcast guests / participants are affiliated, and may have been previously disseminated by them.  The guests / participants opinions are based upon information they consider reliable, but neither GETSOME Inc. nor its affiliates, nor the companies with which such guests / participants are affiliated, warrant its completeness or accuracy, and it should not be relied upon as such.

Follow us on Instagram: getsome_podcast

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Fatima Kamenge (She/Her), an Auntie, Human, and Joybonbon, is the founder of Social Ausum, a consulting firm based in Toronto, Canada that helps business owners build more socially responsible enterprises.  What does this business consultant do in their spare time you ask? A sensuality workshop of course!   Fatima is a true entrepreneur

In this episode we talk about:

Burundian Culture and Sex

How Sex and Spirituality are always intertwined

Sex and Community 

Sex and Belonging 

Sex with Self and the Sacred Orgasm

My gratitude goes to Fatima who graciously shared her personal stories of growing up Burundian.

You can find Fatima here:

@thejoybonbon on IG

Guest Opinion Disclaimer:   All opinions expressed by podcast guests / participants are solely their current opinions and do not reflect the opinions of GETSOME Inc. or affiliates or the companies with which the podcast guests / participants are affiliated, and may have been previously disseminated by them.  The guests / participants opinions are based upon information they consider reliable, but neither GETSOME Inc. nor its affiliates, nor the companies with which such guests / participants are affiliated, warrant its completeness or accuracy, and it should not be relied upon as such.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

The politics of sex in Mexico contradict its modern metropolis. I speak with Sexologist, Dr. Selfa González Gomar Montesano and Sex Therapist Dr. Maria de Lourdes Martínez Staines about how traditional religious and patriarchal belief systems in Mexico continue to reinforce the prevalence of gender based violence, incest, abortion access, and LGBTQ hate crimes.

Dr. Selfa González Gomar Montesano earned her Psychology Degree from Iberoamericana University in 2001. She completed her training in Gestalt Psychotherapy in 2006 and went on to complete her training in Bioenergetic Body Work in Buenos Aires Argentina. Selfa earned a Master's Degree in Sexuality and Gender Studies from Spain. She has experience working in mental health institutions and teaches in public and private universities throughout Mexico. Selfa also has a private psychotherapy practice working with individuals and couples.

Dr. Maria de Lourdes Martínez Staines studied medicine at Anahuac's University in the state of Mexico. She is married to Jorge Jimenez, a Pediatrician and Neonatologist in Aguascalientes, Mexico. She has 3 children, Sofi 29 years, Jorge Eduardo 23 years, and Regina 19 years. Lourdes worked for 17 years as the Reproductive Health Chief at the Health Institute in Aguascalientes. She also completed 2 Masters Degrees; one in Thanatology (The study of Death and Dying ) and the other in Sexuality and Gender. She has Doctorate in Humanist Psychotherapy. Lourdes currently teaches at Cuauhtemoc's University.

Guest Opinion Disclaimer: All opinions expressed by podcast guests / participants are solely their current opinions and do not reflect the opinions of GETSOME Inc. or affiliates or the companies with which the podcast guests / participants are affiliated, and may have been previously disseminated by them. The guests / participants opinions are based upon information they consider reliable, but neither GETSOME Inc. nor its affiliates, nor the companies with which such guests / participants are affiliated, warrant its completeness or accuracy, and it should not be relied upon as such.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Surrogate Partner Therapy (SPT), also sometimes referred to as sexual surrogacy, was first introduced by sex researchers, Masters and Johnson. They introduced the concept of sexual surrogacy to support un-partnered individuals to work towards sexual goals with another person in a controlled and supportive environment.
A Certified Sex Therapist trained in SPT has the ability to refer a client to a partner surrogate when the sexual goals of the talk therapy have been met and the client wants to test out the new skills with another person to build sexual confidence in a structured and supportive environment. Structured goals such as learning to date, hug, kiss, be naked, learning to touch and be touched in pleasurable ways (that may or may not include penetration/intercourse) are decided between the sex therapist, the client and the surrogate. 
Alon Goshen is a surrogate in the second largest SPT clinic in the world. He has a Masters Degree in Psychology, is trained in massage therapy and tantric sex, and is a sensual couples Bachata dance instructor. Alon also owns a private clinic in Israel where he helps women learn the skills to achieve high levels of sexual pleasure for themselves, or to share with others.

Where to find Alon:

https://alongoshen.co.il/

IPSA (International Professional Surrogates Association)

https://www.surrogatetherapy.org/

Recommended Book:

https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Least-Surrogate-Partners-Intimacy/dp/0692288597/ref=nodl_?dplnkId=f7d573bf-db4f-4b19-9f34-838eebc285bc

Guest Opinion Disclaimer:   All opinions expressed by podcast guests / participants are solely their current opinions and do not reflect the opinions of GETSOME Inc. or affiliates or the companies with which the podcast guests / participants are affiliated, and may have been previously disseminated by them.  The guests / participants opinions are based upon information they consider reliable, but neither GETSOME Inc. nor its affiliates, nor the companies with which such guests / participants are affiliated, warrant its completeness or accuracy, and it should not be relied upon as such.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Do you ever wonder about how the intergenerational consequences of Apartheid continue to influence South Africa's dating scene? I speak with Rahim Thawer, currently living between Johannesburg and Cape Town as a visiting international scholar about how dating and socializing continue to be impacted by racial divisions that have yet to be dismantled. 

Rahim is South Asian (Indian), Muslim, and Queer, practicing as a social worker / psychotherapist, writer, and public speaker in Toronto, Canada. Rahim speaks and writes on topics such as systemic oppression and mental health, LGBTQ Muslim mental health, shame, sexuality and homophobia. 

FInd Rahim here:

https://www.affectiveconsult.ca/

https://thecbtdive.buzzsprout.com/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USlGiHjjVw4&list=PLhbBNizgIkngxmeLwY1CIN_cCBbBgopTM

Guest Opinion Disclaimer:   All opinions expressed by podcast guests / participants are solely their current opinions and do not reflect the opinions of GETSOME Inc. or affiliates or the companies with which the podcast guests / participants are affiliated, and may have been previously disseminated by them.  The guests / participants opinions are based upon information they consider reliable, but neither GETSOME Inc. nor its affiliates, nor the companies with which such guests / participants are affiliated, warrant its completeness or accuracy, and it should not be relied upon as such.

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Show Notes

00:26 What is a sexual narrative?

01:02 Sexual facts Vs interpretations

01:44 Adding flexibility to your sexual narrative

02:24 Sex therapy topics that come up in my practice

02:38 Fear of sex

02:48 Arranged marriages

03:13 Open relationships

03:23 Low sex relationships

03:26 Affair recovery 

03:53 Sex addiction

04:37 Gender Journey

04:41 Sex therapy clients and their personalities

05:25 Talking about sex can bring relief

05:52 Sex gets easier to talk about the more you talk about it.

06:21 Fertility treatments and sex

06:38 Aging and sexuality

07:10 Erectile Disappointment

07:44 Pro erection medication

08:18 Questioning your sexuality

08:45 Sexuality on a spectrum

10:12 Low sex or sexless relationships

11:09 Illness and sexuality

13:14 Do you have curiosities about sex?

13:58 Confession booth question: I love my girlfriend but I think I may be bisexual. What should i do?

15:11 Hard conversations about sex are important and can be helpful

16:19 How to have healthy hard conversations about sex

18:28 Benefits of sex therapy

19:07 Send in questions to michelle@getsome.ca

19:47 Produced by Katie Jensen at Vocal Fry Studios.

20:04 Follow me on Instagram at GETSOME_Podcast

Looking for a Certified Sex Therapist?

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Show Notes

00:00 Introducing Michelle Fischler

00:24 Modeling vulnerability 

00:43 Building Trust

00:50 Master’s Degree in Social Work

00:54 Oppression and disparities in power

01:07 South Africa during apartheid

01:12 Sun City

01:17 Anti-oppressive framework

01:20 Racism

01:31 Complicit in ongoing systems of racism, inequality, and injustice

01:42 Current knowledge and research on sex is based on White people

02:22 Advocate for more diversity in the sex therapy field

03:20 Moved from Toronto to South Africa at age 5

03:33 Hedonistic playground for adults

04:04 International boycott against South Africa's apartheid regime

04:16 Lived with extravaganza dancers

05:18 Father was a Jewish Holocaust survivor

05:55 Taught by nuns in a convent

06:48 Dream career was to be an extravaganza showgirl dancer

07:13 Shamed by the nuns

08:23 Internalized shame

08:56 Shame into adulthood

09:52 Challenge these shame beliefs

10:54 Sue Johanson and Dr. Ruth Westheimer

11:31 Sex with Sue 

12:08 Sexuality starts from a young age

12:53 Subscribe wherever you like to listen to podcasts

13:05 Show is produced by Katie Jensen at Vocal Frye Studios

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Show Notes

00:15 Sex therapist lead up

00:33 Psychotherapy practice 

00:45 Humour and Optimism

01:01 What kind of sex life do you want?

01:05 Culture

01:15 Providing Sex Therapy for ten years 

01:24 For audiences 18 and older 

Disclaimer

Michelle's book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, is available now at comingsoonbook.ca.